The News Phenomenon that is Justin Bieber

I’ve been with CNN for three and a half months now, and I must mournfully admit that – in that time – Justin Bieber has made a greater contribution to the network’s output than I have. I’d like to say I’m not bitter. But I can’t and I won’t.

In the 100 days it has taken me to learn the news input system and annoy the entire newsroom with my shrill Scottish brogue, Justin Bieber has:

• Won the adulation of Funky Bunch frontman Mark Wahlberg (or at least his daughter)
• Orchestrated a collaboration with Taylor Swift-botherer Kanye West
• Announced his big screen aspirations (I don’t blame him for upsizing – his fans may be teenyboppers but he’s just teeny)
• Thrown water balloons at people who aren’t so teeny (but lived to tell the tale)
• Become a political icon (thereby arguably having more influence over U.S. affairs than any Canadian before him)
• Been immortalized as a doll (life-size, I’m assuming)
• Irritated a Florida namesake
• Launched a unisex fragrance (I’m guessing one gender might be more inclined to buy it)
• And inspired at least one 14-year-old girl to compose a dubious lyrical ode to the musical munchkin

Frankly, this represents obscene overachievement from one so young. But, that said, if Mr. Bieber keeps going at this rate, he will provide plenty of fodder for News Stream’s “Over and Out There” feature. And if this happens, I will eventually, inevitably fall victim to the Bieber Fever.

Justin Bieber. Truly a newsmaker for our times.